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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Newsflash! Zombie Pipesters invade City of Malton!

By hilarious coincidence, it seems I am not the only pipe-person playing in the MMORPG Urban Dead. In fact, the city seems to be under a minor invasion of new characters referencing pipes in their profiles.. Must be some collective flashback to all those old black & white movies we grew up on! For your amusement and entertainment, here are some character descriptions to keep an eye out for:

Tebow the fireman
Quite small for a man, Tebow appears comfortable in his blue bath robe and Godzilla slippers. His week old beard shows traces of white. He spends a lot of time fiddling with his pipe. His sole quest is to find a tobacco shop with a comfortable couch.

Tebow the dead fireman
Quite small for a man, Tebow appears to stoop inside his blue bath robe. His week old beard shows yellow tobacco stains beneath his nostrils. The fog of cataracts in both eyes is visible from a distance and toilet paper streams from his left foot.
VonBraun the zombie
Bald and wearing a cheap suit, VonBraun clenches a small can of tobacco in his left hand. His breath reeks of latakia. His ill temper no doubt stems from his dangling, dislocated jaw and the inability to clench a pipe in his teeth.

Vincent Z
Vincent Zygygy sits and twitches, teeth clenched on a thoroughly blackened meerschaum pipe, mumbling under his breath about the need to modify zombie DNA to enforce docility. Occasionally he jerks and shouts, "Who's going to believe a talking head?", then lapses back into muttering.

TreverT
Frenzied looking former fireman, prone to axe first and speak questions later, but not a PKer and firmly on the side of the humans. Often seen relaxing with a pint of Guinness while puffing on a large, elaborately sculpted pipe.

Pipier
Lights a pipe, puffs it, and thoughtfully considers the ramifications of full-scale zombie invasion. Then goes bonkers.


Should anyone wish to look me up in the game, all three of my guys are currently in and around the Chudleyton/Darvall Heights/Eastonwood area, making occasional raids into the remnants of the Mall Tour 06 zombie mob.